"Why does everyone leaving a relationship have to prove the other person's issues?"
Well, because otherwise they would have to admit their own faults and do the hard work to become a better person. Easier to blame the other party.
For a good relationship to work, you have to be able to talk about the inevitable problems in a way that a) makes each party feel like they are being heard and b) tries to find some solution or compromise so that the two parties don't hurt each other repeatedly in that area. It's not about proving that you're right or winning the argument; it's about growing together and moving forward. If you can't talk about that stuff without flying recriminations and defensiveness, then forget it; the relationship has no future.
Not to say that that's easy, but it is a prerequisite.
Then again, most of the shit flew after the breakup (by email? Yeesh). That's no time to expect the warm and fuzzies from the dumpee, no matter how you dump him. But that doesn't mean that it isn't the right thing to do.
We love ourselves despite our faults, we love our kids despite their faults, and hopefully, when it's right, two people can love one another faults and all. Humans have faults. Good people AND bad people have faults. Parents have faults. Friends have faults. San Andreas has faults. Tennis players have double faults.
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Wait - why is this the last panel? We need to know what happens next!
"Why does everyone leaving a relationship have to prove the other person's issues?"
Well, because otherwise they would have to admit their own faults and do the hard work to become a better person. Easier to blame the other party.
For a good relationship to work, you have to be able to talk about the inevitable problems in a way that a) makes each party feel like they are being heard and b) tries to find some solution or compromise so that the two parties don't hurt each other repeatedly in that area. It's not about proving that you're right or winning the argument; it's about growing together and moving forward. If you can't talk about that stuff without flying recriminations and defensiveness, then forget it; the relationship has no future.
Not to say that that's easy, but it is a prerequisite.
Then again, most of the shit flew after the breakup (by email? Yeesh). That's no time to expect the warm and fuzzies from the dumpee, no matter how you dump him. But that doesn't mean that it isn't the right thing to do.
We love ourselves despite our faults, we love our kids despite their faults, and hopefully, when it's right, two people can love one another faults and all. Humans have faults. Good people AND bad people have faults. Parents have faults. Friends have faults. San Andreas has faults. Tennis players have double faults.
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